This list of 2013's canceled shows is expected to grow as the months drag on and networks decide, for whatever reason, that it's time to pull the plug on TV shows that just aren't making the grade. Why are certain shows slated for cancellation? That's easy: It's all about the ratings. If a show's ratings aren't high enough, the network simply can't justify keeping it on the air. Sometimes a canceled show will get a reprieve, but that's not the norm. This list includes all TV shows canceled in 2013. Be sure to vote up the shows you liked the most, and vote down those that you think absolutely deserved to get pulled.
FOX was the first major network to start yanking TV shows in 2013. In January, ABC and FOX decided to pull two sitcoms off the air. Wait, are they canceled, or not? Probably. It's just semantics, really. The two shows that got yanked were the Krysten Ritter ABC comedy 'Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23.' and the new FOX comedy 'Ben and Kate.'
This list will, sadly, be updated as more TV shows are pulled off the air. Which ones do you think are at most risk? Remember, it's about ratings, so shows like CBS' 'Vegas,' FOX's 'The Mindy Project' and ABC's 'Malibu Country' might all be on the chopping block before the year is over. New shows are also always iffy, so check out this list of the best new shows of 2013: See one that you hated? Chances are, you aren't alone. Try hard not to get too attached to the new shows you do like, because it sucks when they get canceled (see: this list of 2012's canceled shows as a prime example). http://www.ranker.com/list/2013-and-_39_s-canceled-shows/tvs-frank,
The greatest endorsement for drugs is how often celebrities - the people who pretty much have it all - do them. So here's a great collection of all the greatest times a celebrity has been caught high on camera: from cocaine to "salvia," from Lohan to Moss, to yes, even Miley. In regards to the stoner celebrities, I guess it can't really be considered that bad if they say they're using weed for its medical benefits, right? Or they could just recite one of Seth Rogen's weed quotes to the media and just not care what the public thinks. Regardless of how they respond to the media, I guarantee these celebrities are smoking some of the best weed strains out there. http://www.ranker.com/list/top-14-celebrities-caught-getting-high-on-camera/john-barryman,
Kirsten Stewart Doesn't Care What You Think
Deciding that she needed to appeal to a male audience who wasn't just reading the Twilight books to relate to girls that will never date them, Kristen Stewart decided to make the first of her many public appearances while smoking pot.
She's kind of awkward and seems like someone's just pissed on her face every time she steps out on the red carpet. Not to mention the fact that she likes to stay home all the time (which means that she is slowly becoming my dream girl.)
Well, now we know why: so she can wake up early to smoke and think about all the nothingness in her life except for, oh, making that boring-movie-that-she-doesn't-want-to-get-any-attention-about-because-it's-not-that-important-but-it-really-is-the-movie-of-the-decade-at-least-financially-and-for-cat-ladies movie.
Stewart is very open about her love for weed and her distaste for the promotional aspects of movie making.
Rolling a joint while out with Robert Pattinson, cause hey, you would need to get high for that too.
Harry Potter Gets Stoned, Tabloids Go Pun-Crazy
The Daily Mirror, an extremely reputable source of journalism in the UK that everyone loves and respects almost as much as we do Star magazine here in the U.S., published this picture of Daniell Radcliffe, otherwise known as the lead actor in all the Harry Potter films, allegedly smoking pot.
Apparently what happened is that he was smoking a joint, or a "spliff" as the Brits would call it, let a girl draw all over his face (because c'mon, if they're hot enough, we've all let that happen), which then drew attention from all the partygoers.
As they started snapping camera phone pics of the international superstar taking hits off his spliff, which he vehemently denies was a spliff, he left. His rep says that Radcliffe often enjoys roll-up cigarettes, but never smokes marijuana.
... not according to British tabloids and, well, more importantly (read: importantly), picture evidence.
Michael Phelps is a Role Model, Pothead, Athlete
Soon after Phelps became an international champion for winning eight gold medals at the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing, he decided to celebrate being one of the greatest people in sports by slowing down his metabolism a little.
Here's phelps taking a bonghit, Miley-style in November of 2008 during the down season.
He's since released a statement apologizing for the picture saying, "I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I'm 23 years old and despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again."
So basically he said "I'm a kid, but I'm sorry for doing this publicly since kids look up to me. Seriously, though, I'm 23 so whatever, but still, sorry I guess."
Awesome.
Amy Winehouse Being Amy Winehouse, Now with Music!
Of course Amy Winehouse is on this list.
All you need to do to get a video of her while high is to record her waking up.
During this 2009 performance, she stumbled over her words and croaked her way through the concert. Business as usual.
Midway through the video, though, the crowd starts booing -- which Winehouse seems oblivious to.
I always imagine that if you were an Amy Winehouse handler, you'd often speak the same sentences you would if you worked at a nursing home "Oh, she doesn't know where she is, don't mind her, please excuse the urine."
She proceeds to introduce the band when no one is paying attention and rocks her little body (physically, she's rocking back and forth) to the finish line. This is Amy Winehouse high, which really, is just like saying this is Amy Winehouse live.
BONUS: At least in the video she's not actually getting high onstage, which she did at another concert which was recorded by fans here. It's always really cool to see your favorite musicians perform what they're best known for. What an experience.
Lindsay Lohan Being Lindsay Lohan, Now with Cocaine!
If Lindsay Lohan isn't in a bathroom stall somewhere snorting coke, then there's probably an earthquake coming up. Either that or a comet. It's like when animals won't eat or act depressed before a natural disaster... they just "know."
In 2007, footage was released showing Lohan in a "compromising position" sniffing cocaine in a New York public bathroom stall, 80s stock broker style.
Click here for the stills from the video (which is nowhere to be found on the Internets, but we do have the pictures in the link.)
Kate Moss Breathes (Snorts?) New Life Into her Cocaine Rumors
It was never a secret that Kate Moss was a constant snorter of cocaine because, c'mon, look at her. But it wasn't until this video leaked on the Internet which showed her doing the deed that got the entire fashion world scurrying to defend their brand image and find replacement models for their campaigns. Kate Moss IS the most famous model in high-fashion to date (if not just because of all the cocaine rumors/late-night jokes alone).
The video shows the model sitting in her signature thigh-high boots and all-black ensemble arranging a line of coke perfectly.
Her junkie boyfriend Pete Doherty (really, just a male version of Amy Winehouse) is not far away in this video, and was probably waiting for his share of the coke (great, now I'm thirsty).
Kate, obviously, is in good spirits and laughing with people around her. The actual snorting begins at 1:53. Now if only the girl who brought "heroin chic" into fashion could be video taped doing that deed... but life isn't that fair (yet!)
Miley Cyrus Caught Smoking "Salvia"
To go with her newfound adult trainwreck (instead of teenage almost-trainwreck) image, the pop star was caught smoking salvia, a legal herb in California with psychedelic properties, from a bong just five days after her super s**tty 18th birthday party.
The video was shot in her home in Los Angeles where she and her friends were hanging out, because, really, if you were as rich as her you'd have all your teenage parties at your own house too.
After confessing that she's "having a little bit of a bad trip," Miley then freaks out after thinking she sees someone who looks like her ex-boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. After realizing he's not Liam at all, nor does he look like him, Miley lets out a laugh that Billy Ray Cyrus said "made [him] sad". You can see it at 1:14.
Later, Miley starts rapping Nicki Minaj's lines in Trey Songz's "Bottoms Up" and absolutely slaughters them. If you've never heard this song (aka if you have taste), here's the song for reference: the song.
The video ends with Miley saying, "I want more of that sh*t, I swear."
Pure goodness, from beginning to end. Click
Click here to see the full video of Miley Cyrus taking a bong hit.
When Billy Ray Cyrus heard about the news and was saddened by it, this cartoon came to mind:
Mischa Barton Smokes Weed In A Bikini
Mischa Barton is a very talented... uh...
So Mischa Barton was caught smoking weed in a bikini.
But Mischa deserves some recognition. She managed to get her thighs back in shape (remember these?) and she's actually looking pretty hot again.
Anyway, here are some pictures of Mischa Barton smoking weed:
Aaand here she is smoking weed while driving, which I personally do not condone, but makes me want to hang out with her right. Effing. Now.
Paris Hilton Tells Larry King She Doesn't Do Drugs, Then Gets Caught Smoking Weed
First of all, Paris rolls deep. I don't care what you think about her. You know how hardcore she is? According to this story, she found some cocaine in her purse that she thought was gum. Not only does price not matter to her, but she probably keeps little bags of coke in her foyer right next to where she keeps the gum, just so she can grab one of either on the way out the door every day.
That is awesome.
Anyway, to explain this picture: just one day after Paris Hilton's post-jail interview with Larry King where she confessed she's never done drugs, a video surfaced online which clearly shows the blonde heiress puffing away on a pipe.
The video, which you can watch HERE shows her expertly packing her bowl while her friend documents the occasion. They're in some sort of cafe with hip hop music playing in the background (and a really patient stalker that you'll have to keep your eyes peeled for in the background).
Once again: this video surfaced the day after she got out of jail for possession. Also, her friends always sound like douchebags in every single one of her online videos. Yes, all of them.
Charlize Theron Makes An Awesome Apple Pipe
Charlize Theron looks absolutely ecstatic while puffing away at her apple pipe in 2002.
This shows that if you're a super hot, talented and insanely rich celebrity, you most likely have the time to not only smoke weed recreationally, but you also have enough time to make your very own apple pipe.
What is an apple pipe? Well, it's when you're able to make an apple into a pipe. For a great instructional video on how to make your very own apple pipe, please check out this series:
The National Enquirer showed the Oscar-winning actress enjoying the company of her new pipe while wearing a bikini in her LA home and laughing hysterically. Good times.
List of girl names that used to be boy names. This list includes baby names that are now used (almost) exclusively for girls in the U.S., but once also ranked in the Top 1000 Names for Boys, according to data by The Baby Name Wizard, Nameberry, and other sources. Remember Ashley Wilkes from Gone with the Wind? He was a boy. So was the author Evelyn Waugh. And actor Blair Underwood. Can you imagine a friend naming a baby boy Beverly today? I guess it's better than Aidynn or Jaiyss or whatever. Ugh.
This list of girl names that used to be boy names does not include popular unisex names. Everyone knows Alex, Sam, Morgan, Jordan, Jamie, Jessie, Taylor, Dylan / Ryan / Logan, Robin, Bailey, Avery, Aubrey, Shelby, Casey, Terry, Leigh, and so forth are names that could be for either boys or girls (though whether they should be is really a different discussion). Instead, this list of former male names focuses on names that would be most surprising if you heard them given to a baby boy today. Like, "This is my son Stacy." And it's not Stacy Keach.
Many of these male baby names that have been appropriated by girls (and their parents) are the names of places. Lindsay, for example, comes from the Anglo-Saxon kingdom of Lindsey. Beverly means something about a "beaver stream." Other names related to parentage: Alison is literally "son of Alice" (who must have been a pretty big shot to have her male child named after her instead of her husband). And if your dad's name is already Carol, why not also be a Carol? No good reason. Some of the girl names that used to be boy names in the U.S. are still popular names for boys in other countries - just not this one. In 'Merica, Hilary is a name for ladies. Lastly, Evelyn comes from the French word for "hazelnut." Isn't that cute? I would name a kid Evelyn - but only a boy kid. http://www.ranker.com/list/girl-names-that-used-to-be-boy-names/carlybobarly,
Famous Men Named Blair: Blair Hull, Blair Kiel, Blair McDonough, Blair Peach, Blair Underwood
Beverly / Beverley Peak: The 590th most popular name for boys born in the 1880s - Think Baby Names, Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Beverly: Beverley Goodway, Beverley Randolph Mason, Beverley Randolph
Carol Peak: The 482nd (Carol) most popular name for boys born in the 1920s - Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Carol: Carol I, King of Romania; Carol II, King of Romania
Alison / Allison Peak: The 482nd most popular name for boys born in 1896 - Nameberry, Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Darcy: Darcy Blake, Darcy Hordichuk, Darcy Ribeiro, Darcy Tucker
Ashley Peak: The 282nd most popular name for boys born in 1980 - Nameberry, Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Ashley: Ashley Callus, Ashley Cole, Ashley Taylor Dawson, Ashley Giles, Ashley Hutchings, Ashley MacIsaac, Ashley Montagu, Ashley Parker Angel, Ashley Wood, Ashley Wilkes, Ashley "Ash" Williams, Ashley Young
Courtney Peal: The 254th most popular name for boys born in 1977 - Nameberry, Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Courtney: Courtney Hodges, Courtney Lee, Courtney Pine, Courtney Pitt, Courtney Taylor-Taylor, Courtney B. Vance, Courtney Walsh
Doris Peak: The 659th most popular name for boys born in the 1920s - Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Doris: Doris Miller
Dana Peak: The 166th most popular name for boys born in 1966 - Nameberry, Baby Name Wizard
Famous Men Named Dana: Dana Altman, Dana Andrews, Dana Ashbrook, Dana Barros, Dana Beal, Dana Carvey, Dana Elcar, Dana Gioia, Dana Gould, Dana Quigley, Dana "Buck" Rinehart, Dana Rohrabacher, Dana White
Claire Peak: The 904th most popular name for boys born in the 1890s - Baby Name Wizard
As one of the longest running series in television history, each episode of the sketch comedy weekly Saturday Night Live starts with a skit and a monologue from the host, but only a select few can be part of the best Saturday Night Live monologues of all time. To make this list the monologue has to be funny, memorable or even so controversial that it prompted the host to be banned from the show for life.
It should be no surprise that Steve Martin, who has hosted the show 15 times over 39 seasons, comes in twice among the best SNL monologues. He however has some stiff competition in other great monologues from newer hosts such as notable performances in 2011 from Zach Galifianakis and Justin Timberlake. As the series enters its 40th season in the fall of 2011, it's certain that this list of the best SNL monologues is sure to grow. http://www.ranker.com/list/the-best-saturday-night-live-monologues-of-all-time/best-of-snl,
Paul Simon SNL Monologue 11/20/1976
Hosting during just the second season of the series, musician Paul Simon dressed as a turkey during his hilarious Saturday Night Live monologue. As part of their Thanksgiving episode, Simon "loosened up" for his November 20, 1976, hosting gig and sang "Still Crazy After All These Years." Things took a turn for the worse later prompting Simon to leave the stage in humiliation to change into something less "alienating."
John Malkovich SNL Monologue 12/6/2008
Airing on December 6, 2008, actor John Malkovich provided some holiday cheer as part of his Saturday Night Live monologue. Donning an itchy Santa hat and inviting children on stage, Malkovich read "Twas the Night Before Christmas." All was well until Malkovich began adding his own depressing and violent commentary on the normally optimistic and cheery lines. Merry Christmas indeed!
Zach Galifianakis SNL Monologue 3/12/2011
Hosting Saturday Night Live for the second time in March 2011, actor and comedian Zach Galifianakis absolutely killed it in his monologue. After poking fun at himself with a few jokes and introducing a few quirky characters, Galifianakis stripped down to a short red dress to perform a rendition of "Tomorrow" from the musical Annie. Though he didn't sing, he played along, giving commentary using a large easel of paper and showing the audience sneak peeks of his pink panties.
Steve Martin SNL Monologue 10/23/1976 In his first time hosting Saturday Night Live, Steve Martin went from a relative unknown to an overnight sensation with his October 23, 1976, SNL monologue. He took the stage in his trademark white suit and belted out a song, "Let's Get Small." Steve Martin would go on to host the show a total of a 15 times, which after 39 seasons, was tied for the most with Alec Baldwin.
Justin Timberlake SNL Monologue 5/21/2011
Notorious for popping in on random episodes for sketches, songs and digital shorts, Justin Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live on May 21, 2011, for the season 39 finale and used his SNL monologue to poke fun of himself. In a song about not singing, Timberlake rattled off all the different types of singing he was not going to do, while doing them at the same time. Though the monologue was funny, it was far from his funniest moment on Saturday Night Live, which arguably was his December 2006 appearance in the "D*ck in a Box" digital short.
Norm MacDonald SNL Monologue 10/23/1999
After being fired as a cast member of the show just a year and a half earlier, Norm MacDonald was invited to return and host the show. His monologue is the opposite of grateful for the invitation to take the stage once again, and the product is comedy gold.
Steve Martin SNL Monologue 12/14/1991
Oddly reflecting on his previous appearances on Saturday Night Live, Steve Martin lead yet another hilarious monologue during his hosting gig on December 14, 1991. After being reminded of old skits like his "King Tut" routine by then-cast members Chris Farley and Victoria Jackson, Martin burst out in song about how he's "Not Gonna Phone it in Tonight" and finally take the show seriously.
Martin Lawrence SNL Monologue 2/19/1994 Though he hosted the show during season 19 on February 19, 1994, don't expect this monologue to ever air in syndication as it was controversial enough to earn comedian and actor Martin Lawrence a permanent ban from the show. In his monologue, Lawrence discussed feminine hygiene and how in his opinion, it was on the decline. In repeats, that monologue is replaced with an info-graphic discussing the audacity of the moment and describing how it nearly cost everyone on the cast and crew their jobs.
Old Spice has managed to bring commercials from a TV necessity to something we all look forward to. The Old Spice advertising department has not only successfully reinvented their image for a younger generation, but left you with a smile on your face after a TV spot. I mean who watches commercials for fun? Well, now, WE do. Old Spice, we salute you, and in turn have compiled the 42 greatest ads for helping us smell better. Also, why 42? Because we're nerds. It's almost apparent that wearing Old Spice should be an additional guideline to the man law.
Jackie Moon's Armpit
Back when anyone knew that the movie Pro-Sport starring Will Ferrel and the guy from Outkast existed (during its marketing campaign, before bargain bins), Will Ferrel did a hilarious spot that described the deodorant amazingly.
"The finest, street legal antiperspirant you can get outside of Mexico that's not poisonous".
The Man Your Man Could Smell Like
This classic commercial, which has raised awareness of Old Spice as a company the same way the Taco Bell dog did for Taco Bell, stars "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like", otherwise known as actor Isaiah Mustafa.
It goes beyond simply selling a product to get inside your head and make you question your own masculinity.
The best part? Old Spice, as a company, figured out the age-old marketing question of
"How do you sell a product for men in a way that women love it too, while not also alienating the men?"
Absolutely brilliant.
Girl Licking An Ice Cream Cone
During their "Keep It Clean" campaign, Old Spice featured this in magazines.
It's a girl enjoying a delicious ice cream cone while thinking of how much she loves it on a hot summer day.
That is all.
Centaur
One of the weirdest and most cleverly-written commercials on this list, the Old Spice Centaur taught us all that every man can be every thing that they want to be.
Bruce Campbell Ahoy
Old Spice started their true streak of uninhibited awesome with a series of commercials starring one of the most beloved, rugged, manly, talented and hilarious performers of all time: a pack of hot chicks.
Bruce Campbell also got a bunch of spots on these commercials, because who doesn't love him?
In this epic commercial, Bruce takes the Sinatra route to sing Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf" to women that slowly begin crawling towards him.
Then he barks.
And then Bruce created awesome. And it was good.
Hot Girl Dancing For One Full Minute
In this commercial, an insanely hot girl (as in a girl with a really high body temperature, I mean look how much she's sweating) dances for one full minute.
The words on the screen then tell you that you can't have her unless you have Old Spice.
Millions of men flocked to stores and then realized they don't know how to dance.
The Terry Crews ads are like a wonderful little break from reality and the laws of sanity, so we went ahead and found a montage of them all so you could take a little mini vacation; you’re welcome. These ads were all directed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, which makes perfect sense if you’ve ever seen their show Tim & Eric Show: Great Job! only on Adult Swim.
They encompass everything Old Spice has meant over the years (see: this list), make it funnier and then take the whole strategy up to the next level.
This series of commercials is over-the-top, hilarious, effective, memorable and absolutely amazing.
This unbelievably awesome video was the winner of the "Make An Old Spice Swagger Commercial" contest, once again showing that the coolest marketing department in the country never loses touch with their demographic.
This guy (who now that we all think of it kind of looks like McLovin's character in Kick-Ass) kills an alien spaceship with the power of his Swagger.
Will Smith ain't got nothin on McLovin Lite.
Is It Right For Me?
A barrage of different people ask the announcer in the commercial if Old Spice body wash is good enough for them, with hilarious consequences.
Unlike most commercials, for ANY company, the announcer in this one really the funniest part of the whole thing.
NPH Would Do That
He’s a doctor, for pretend, but Neil Patrick Harris is exactly the faux doc that could prescribe you a cure for a frowny face.
This commercial shows NPH in a "real" hospital being a "fake" doctor and the juxtaposition is 100% full of win.
BMW M3
2001 BMW M3 Coupe 0-60 mph 4.6 Quarter mile 13.2
1998-2004 sale for 7-18k Chevrolet Corvette
2005 Chevrolet Corvette C6 0-60 mph 4.2 Quarter mile 12.6
2005 is the new model (C6) sale for 19-25k BASE 1997-2004 model (C5) sale for 10-25k (base < Z06) Honda S2000
2000 Honda S2000 0-60 mph 5.7 Quarter mile 14.0 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution
The Polar Vortex: if you live anywhere east of Seattle and/or outside of Southern California, you are SOL (Snow Out of Luck) on the weather front this January. In fact, you may not even be able to read this paragraph, what with the eight scarves you're peeking through to see your screen. One thing's for sure: you're probably stuck inside with nothing better to do than search the Internet for anything labeled #PolarVortex so you can see if other people are possibly more miserable than you are.
If you're unlucky enough to be stuck in sub-zero temperatures, you know this Polar Vortex situation is no joke (except for all the people making Polar Vortex jokes). From reporters outfitting themselves with battery-powered heated insoles to shooting boiling water from a squirt gun to make snow, there are plenty of ways people are adapting to the challenges posed by the "Polar Vortex," and you'll find the best of them on this reactions to the Polar Vortex list.
Funniest reactions to the Polar Vortex include observations by late night hosts, radical weather experiments, extreme sports, and memes; glorious (sometimes unnecessary) Polar Vortex memes. Make sure to vote for your favorite PolarVortex Internet reactions, and take care to stay warm (unless you're in Southern CA, in which case "just existing" will suffice).
List of the best slang from the 90s. If you grew up in the 1990s, odds are that in between playing Pogs or watching reruns of "90210," you were telling your mom to "talk to the hand" and that her cooking was Da Bomb...Not! Looking back, slang from the 90s involved giving people a lot of attitude and tricking them. (Sike!) The best 90s slang are the words that you and your friends said all the time, but you would never be caught dead saying these days.
Even though words like "rad" and "anyways" are still said today by some, they are considered slang of the 90s because of their prominence in pop culture at the time. A lot of top 90s slang words like "Whatever!" and "Cut. It. Out" trickled down from movies and TV shows (hello, Clueless and "Full House"). Some jargon came directly from songs that were popular at the time, like "Scrubs" and "Whoomp, There It Is." Read this list to re-acquaint yourself with popular 90s slang words and vote on your favorites. If there are great 90s slang words that you remember that are not on the list, go ahead and add them too. Okay, late!
If you're thinking this list is going to be all about Alanis Morissette-like references to "too many spoons when all you need is a knife", kindly open a new window, look up a definition of irony, and then continue reading this list about the ten best/worst ways people have bit it in awesomely ironic ways.
Japanese Actor Excels Onstage, Chokes on Fish
Bando Mitsugoro VIII was a Japanese kabuki actor and food daredevil. He was active on the kabuki circuit from the 1930’s until his death and was even declared a “living national treasure” by the Japanese government in 1973.
The man was so famous in his native land that when he walked into a restaurant in Kyoto and ordered an illegally large helping of fugu- which is also known as puffer fish, in case you’re familiar with that lethal little bastard- liver, the chef couldn’t bring himself to say no to the actor who told the FOUR DEADLY FISH LIVERS to “come at me, bro”.
Here's a diagram, courtesy of The Simpsons, to let you know how deadly this fish is.
Mitsugoro had a generally cavalier attitude about the whole thing, telling his dinner companions that he could take the toxins, but died later that night after enduring seven hours of convulsing and paralysis brought on by the absurd helping of fugu.
The chef was a victim, too; he lost his license and didn’t even get a signed 8x10.
Man Sees Own Obituary and Dies Pissed Off People Didn’t Like Him More
I’d like to think my obituary (hold on, I have to look up what an obituary even looks like. I haven’t seen one since 1998 when I still read a real paper. Ok, good to go) would look like. Maybe something like: Danielle Dauenhauer- second wife to David Duchovny, three-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize, Oscar-winning writer- has died in Los Angeles of complications from pissing excellence. She was 702.
Ok, maybe I’ll only live to be 623, but you get the point. Everybody wants to think that they’ll be remembered as someone who was very likable, respected, and left a positive legacy in their community. Jamaican political leader Marcus Garvey, Jr. must have thought he deserved better when after suffering a stroke, the Chicago Defender printed an obituary for Garvey saying that he died “broke, alone and unpopular”. Thing is, Garvey survived his stoke, got ahold of a copy of his untimely obit, read it, and died thinking he deserved better.
He was, in fact, ultimately dubbed Jamaica’s first national hero and was re-interred under a shrine of himself that was erected in Heroes National Park. But he was too dead to enjoy all that.
Man Drinks Too Much Carrot Juice, Turns Oranger Than Snooki, and Dies
Combining two of the already popular tenets for an ironic death- drinking too much liquid and abusing things that mom says are good for you- British health nut Basil Brown went and drank 10 gallons of carrot juice over the course of 10 days. Do you know how many carrots it takes to make 10 gallons of juice? Like, 200 POUNDS of carrots.
This Basil guy basically looked at a pile of carrots that weighed more than he did and said, “Yeah, I don’t think I could live with myself if I don’t drink the juice of every single carrot I’m seeing right now (pip pip)”. TWO HUNDRED MOTHER LOVING POUNDS OF CARROTS! Maybe more!
What ended up happening was that Brown did drink every one of those carrots’ juice and in the process ingested more than 10,000 times the recommended dose of vitamin A for a normal human being. It damaged his liver worse than a night of drinking with Nick Nolte AND Robert Downey, Jr. circa 1988, and while his final tint was orange, he made his friends and family blue when he died of liver failure.
Tenor Sings “You Can Only Live So Long” and Dies
When you were a kid, did your mom ever try to take you out to cultural activities like a play or the museum by telling you “Come on, just try it; it’s not gonna kill you”? Well suck on this, mom: the opera straight up kills people!
62-year-old opera veteran Richard Versalle was getting his sing on in the premiere of "The Makropulos Case" at the Lincoln Center in New York City when he basically told the audience he was about to die. Well, not Versalle so much as his character (a clerk) who was standing on a ladder, fetching a file from a cabinet. After singing the line “you can only live so long”, he had a heart attack and fell fifteen feet to the stage below.
The performance halted and the house doctor declared Versalle, and opening night, dead. No refunds were issued.
Man Proves Strength of Window Glass, Frailty of Window Pane in Deadly Fall
I feel really bad making light of someone who fell out a window and died since I myself fell out a window and lived (true story), but this was a real tempting fate situation where, in my case, my bed was just a real dick.
Anyway, Gary Hoy, a lawyer in Toronto, Canada, had a real affinity for demonstrating to visitors the strength of the glass in his 24th story office. On a fateful day in July, Hoy was giving a demo of the glass’s strength by throwing himself at full force into the pane. On what was apparently his second demo of the day, Hoy’s shoulder knocked the window free of its frame and he and the glass piece fell 24 stories down to the street below, much to the horror of the law students he was trying to impress.
Though it can’t be officially confirmed, Hoy is thought to be the inspiration for this lawyer joke:
A serial killer, a con artist and a lawyer fall off the roof of a 10-story building. Who hits the ground first?
Who cares!
(Sweet, merciful Jebus, I need to finish writing this in a room without a window…)
Girl Tweets Her Thanks to God For Another Year of Life and Dies
In what should be referred to as “The Tebow Syndrome”, Arianne Noelle Patterson, a student at North Carolina’s Gardner-Webb University, got an unexpected gift from God for her big 2-1.
Patterson- who should have been smote just for spending her time tweeting in a class she was probably paying thousands of dollars to take – got down on one knee and celebrated her 21st birthday by saying “Thank you God for another year of life.” to all her followers in the Twitterverse.
And then she dropped dead from a heart attack. In the middle of her religion class.
That’ll teach you to thank people for giving you stuff you didn’t want in the first place. For serious. Like your heart attack…
Soldier Dies From Hiccups-Related Gunshot Wound
Known ways to cure the hiccups: holding breath, drinking a glass of water, punching the afflicted person in the stomach, shooting the afflicted in the face.
Wait, that last one sounds a little extreme; does it really work? As a matter of fact, it does (mostly because getting shot in the face kills you, but maybe it also really freaks you out and cure the hiccups before you die).
Sadly, PFC Isaac Lawrence Young was the unwitting guinea pig for that “shot in the face” theory recently when a fellow soldier stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas pulled out a gun, just to scare the hiccups away, and ended up discharging the weapon in the general direction of Young’s face.
The incident went down in the men’s living room where they, and a third soldier, were watching Sunday night football and drinking. Pfc. Patrick Edward Myers, who was probably a little overly-excited after seeing both Texas teams win their games earlier in the day, took out a handgun to help Young triumph over his temporary affliction and ended up killing him before he could be transported to a nearby field where a helicopter was waiting to take him to a trauma hospital.
Myers is currently awaiting trial for manslaughter.
Rapper Says YOLO to Drunk Driving and Dies Twenty Minutes Later
Now, we all know that when looking for a credible, reliable source on topics like life and philosophy, we should turn to the nearest rapper and ask his advice. If you had asked aspiring rapper Ervin McKinness for his advice on the topic of driving while drunk, he would have told you “Definitely a bad idea, son. Designated drivers are your keys to big pimpin’”.
Ok, he would never have said that. Had you tweeted that same question to him, though, you would have seen this take on the topic:
You had half a bottle of Henny and you have to get across town? #F**kIt, son! What’s the worst that could happen drifting 120 MPH around corners?
Oh, right. Death. Death could happen.
McKinness, known as Jew'elz and Inkyy in the music community that had recently awarded him a recording deal, never got a chance to make any music professionally because 21 minutes after he said “f**k it” to driving drunk, the SUV he was in skidded into a wall and killed all five of the car’s occupants, including the would-be rapper.
Maybe YOLTM (You Only Live Twenty Minutes) would have been a more appropriate hashtag?
Woman Dies of Water Poisoning Trying to Win a Wii
It’s so poetic: a woman trying to win a Nintendo Wii dies because she can’t wee.
The incident transpired when Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old mother of three, took place in radio station KDND’s “Hold your wee for a Wii” contest. The winner would be the contestant who could drink the most water without breaking for a pee. Other participants speculated, after the game had ended, that Strange and some of the others participating in the contest had drank upwards of two gallons of water in their efforts to win a $250 game box.
Far from being ignorant of the potential for harm involved in drinking that much water, several incidents of water poisoning were referenced on the air while the game was underway, and a nurse even called the radio show to warn that the contestants could face health risks if they continued. What risks, you may ask: oh, just death.
But Strange soldiered on and even went to work after the contest ended, eventually heading home in tremendous pain later in the day. Her mother found her dead in her home shortly thereafter.
To add insult to…well, death, Strange came in second in the contest and did not win the Wii.
Anti-Seatbelt Activist Dies After Being Thrown From SUV
Derek Kieper was an honors student, a friend, and most notably, a bad-ass anti-seatbelt rebel.
Kieper described himself as being part of “a die-hard group of non-wearers out there who simply do not wish to buckle up no matter what the government does”. So staunch was he that the government shouldn’t have any say in the safety precautions folks take while in motor vehicles, he took to the pages of the Daily Nebraskan a mere three months prior to his death to extol his position to the readers of the paper.
Practicing his unwavering allegiance to keeping his seatbelt holstered, Kieper and two of his seatbelt-wearing frat brothers were returning from a trip to San Antonio, Texas when the SUV they were travelling in hit an icy patch and flew off the road before rolling over several times in a roadside ditch. Both the driver and the front seat passenger survived the crash with non-life threatening injuries while Kieper, who was ejected from the car when it careened off the highway, died on impact.
Inception
Prometheus
Back to the Future
The Fifth Element
Dragonheart
Alien
Armageddon
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Star Wars Episode IV: a New Hope
The Hobbit
These drool-worthy celebrity houses are among the biggest, most impressive homes of the rich and famous. These are the celebrity homes that average Americans - along with their 2.5 kids - may only dream of ever owning.
This list includes celebrity homes of TV stars including Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Love Hewitt, film stars including Johnny Depp and Nicolas Cage, and music stars such as Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, and Taylor Swift.
Some of these awesome drool-worthy mansions of superstar celebs have seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, several tennis courts, and multiple swimming pools! Most people will never live in something as massive as one of these celebrity homes, which is why these pics offer a nice window into the lives of the rich and famous.
Which celebrity has the biggest house? Where do celebrities live? This list of famous houses answers those questions. Vote up your favorite celebrity home.
Kim Kardashian & Kanye West in Bel Air, California
Kim and Kanye bought this $11 million 9,000 sq. foot home. It boasts 5 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, and an elevator.
David and Victoria Beckham in South of France
The Beckhams bought this rustic mansion in Domaine Saint-Vincent, South of France, in 2003.
Jeremy Piven in Santa Monica, California
This house is not as ostentatious as some of the other houses on this list. But even this modesty is still luxurious.
Justin Timberlake in Hollywood Hills, California
You can see his house when you're hiking through the Hollywood Hills. But you can't go in without an invite.
Scarlett Johansson in Long Island, NY In January 2014, Scarlett Johansson bought this $2.2 million custom-built, shingled home in the relaxed but increasingly exclusive beach town of Amagansett dunes in Long Island’s Hampton Bay’s area. The property sits on 1.4 acres and abuts the Peconic Land Trust and Napeague State Park, which will provide acres and acres of privacy.
Sharon Stone in Beverly Hills, California
Tucked away behind lush greenery, Sharon Stone's home is luxurious.
Steven Spielberg in Malibu, California
The director's house is right on the beach. Not a bad view.
Johnny Depp in West Hollywood, California
Johnny Depp bought this $3 million house that was originally owned by Bela Lugosi. Isn't buying Dracula's castle sooooo Johnny Depp?
Nicolas Cage in Los Feliz, California
It's Nic's world, we're just living in it...hence, Cage's castle.
Jean-Claude Van Damme in Hollywood, California
JCVD's villa was custom-built for $3.5 million. (It'd be interesting to find out what extra amenities cost $3.5 million.)
Celebrities are just like you and me. Fat celebrities, thin celebrities, fun celebrities, boring celebrities. We all have to pass a little gas from time to time. The only different thing is that us regular folk aren't constantly under public scrutiny and don't have photographers filming our every move. Alas to the dismay of these celebs, they may be caught on cam while letting one rip.
Sure, celebrities are always being photographed. After all, there are tons of funny celebrity pics out there. In many of those shots, these famous people often look like they're letting loose an arse blast. (toot toot!) We can never know for sure, maybe they are, in fact, cutting the celebrity cheese.
Perhaps some of these funny pics were taken just after these funny pics of celebs stuffing their faces. We'll never know for sure, but these funny pics sure look like the famous people pictured don't care and have just let one rip. Vote up your favorite funny pic of celebs who look like they probably have gas.
Britney Spears
Britney Spears has the best possible "I'm currently farting face" ever.
Larry King
Has gone on record farting on national television.
Evangeline Lilly
To fart on late night television is absolutely divine.
Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union probably doesn't fart that often, but it looks like she's def baking some brownies right here.
Larry David
Larry David probably blows the butt bugle a lot, and then feels uncomfortable that it happened in front of the wrong person, but then he'll somehow weave that into his writing.
Katy Perry
Sure, pop's "It" girl is always turning out the hits, but here she's really about to release a squeaker!
Jessica Alba
What'd Jessica Alba eat? It looks like she can't hold back that one-cheek sneak!
Khloe Kardashian
We don't know if Khloe is always farting, but pretty sure she just let loose a triple flutter blast.
Beyoncé
Queen Bey may be a top-selling artist, but at last year's Super Bowl, it looked like she couldn't stop firing those stink torpedos!
Nancy Grace
Grace under fire...she's doin' everything she can to strangle the stank monkey.
Crazy hot photos of Shailene Woodley, one of the hottest up and coming actresses. She's our next Mary Jane Watson and she's the hot girl from The Descendants, as well as the lead in Secret Life of an American Teenager, where she's pregnant I think. I don't know, it's in the billboards. There are few girls out there as sexy as Shailene Woodley. So, in honor of one of the greatest ladies in Hollywood, here's a gallery of sexy pictures of Shailene Woodley, videos and GIFs, ranked by hotness.
The girl from the Descendants is only getting more stupid hot as she gets older.
These Shailene Woodley pics were taken from a variety of different sources, including several promotional and magazine photoshoots, and have been turned into a curated image gallery containing only the cutest pictures and images from around the Web. While there are many sexy Shailene Woodley jpgs, these are the hottest around. http://www.ranker.com/list/shailene-woodley-hot-pics-images-sexy-photos/greg,
Sorority Poses!
This Is How Shailene Woodley Appears to You in Dreams
She always tells me to kill my neighbors for some reason.
"Oh Nuh Uh!"
GUUURRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLL
Shailene Woodley in Normal Clothes Kind Of
For reference!
Shailene Woodley and the Case of the MTV Sideboob
Shailene Woodley Learns to Hones Her Advanced Bo Skills
Shailene Woodley Shows You the Ropes
Shailene Woodley Can Fit Her Hands In Her Head Somehow
I never learned object permanence...
Shailene Woodley Probably Burns As Easily As You Do
Topless Shailene Woodley Showers with No Water
It's called Dry Showering. Look it up (and tell me if it's a thing).
List of the douchiest things Justin Bieber has ever done. From abandoning his own pet monkey in Germany to showing up with a 20 person entourage to guest-host SNL, the Biebs has done quite a few questionable things in recent history. There comes a time in most young famous peoples' lives when their "acting out" incidents become more and more frequent and the public reaction starts to move away from, "Aw, he probably didn't know any better," to "Ah! What a douchebag!"
Is Justin Bieber a douchebag? Obvs, this depends on who you ask. Devoted fans--Bielebers and those who have Bieber-fever would (or course) say that he is not. But what about the general public? Is spitting in your neighbors face, threatening paparazzi and refusing to pay for services that you used enough reason to call someone a douche? Is he actually one of the biggest douchebags in Hollywood? Or is he just acting how any other young person would in these circumstances? Does the Biebs deserve a little slack since he is from Canada and new to all of this fame?
You can use this list of douch-ey JB moments to make your own decision and judge for yourself. Vote on your favorite d-bag move by the ever-popular teenage heartthrob/popstar and share with your friends to see what they think.
Moons Lil Za While He's Sleeping
Nothing says good-natured fun like mooning your pal while he's sleeping
Fills Private Jet Up with So Much Pot Smoke That The Pilots Were Forced to Wear Oxygen Masks
Justin Bieber and his father, Jeremy, smoked so much weed in their private jet from Canada to New Jersey on January 31, that the pilots were forced to wear oxygen masks, according to NBC.
Bieber and his father were also "extremely abusive" to a flight attendant and wouldn't stop bothering this poor girl even after the pilot asked them to "stop their harassing behavior." It got so bad that she had to hide in the cockpit with the oxygen mask-wearing pilots. Umm.
Pees His Initial in the Snow
The Biebs decided throwing snowballs wasn't enough of a good time in Colorado, so he decided to claim his territory when he and his entourage pulled over in a wealthy neighborhood and had a tinkle. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill pee: instead, Bieber managed to spell out his initials in the snow. Gross.
Pisses Into a Restaurant Mop Bucket, "F** Bill Clinton"
A recently leaked video shows a possibly-drunk Justin Bieber leaving the club through a restaurant kitchen (appropriately wearing his diaper pants, again) and stopping to take a piss in the restaurant's mop bucket. Before exiting through the back door, he also took the opportunity to share some political beliefs--screaming "F**k Bill Clinton!" while he sprayed a photo of the former president with cleaning fluid.
The worst part of this douchebaggery is that J Bieb's idiotic entourage acts like the restaurant staff should be honored that Bieber pissed in their mop bucket rather than the bathroom. TMZ has it all on video.
Drags Races in Miami, Gets Arrested for DUI
Well, it finally happened. The Biebs was arrested in the wee hours of January 23, 2014 in Miami when he was caught drag racing his Lamborghini and if that wasn't enough, he was thrown in the slammer on suspicion of DUI as well, since he admitted to smoking pot and consuming alcohol and prescription pills. Bail is set at $2,500.
Is a Logo-Desecrating Idiot
Justin Bieber violated the ultimate Hockey-fan code of conduct this summer when he trampled on the Chicago Blackhawks logo in their locker room. The allegedly Canadian pop star was taking photos of the Stanley Cup when he stood squarely in the center of the revered Native American team logo. To his credit, he did apologize and hop off the logo when he was reminded that his actions were sacrilege in the hockey world.
It has yet to be seen if he was actually taking a photo of the Stanley cup or was sneakily snapping a selfie, but he did have his shirt on, so odds are the camera was pointed forward.
Source
After Being Told to Drive More Carefully, He Spit in His Neighbor's Face, Threatened to Kill
Bieber allegedly hocked a loogie and spit it in his 47-year-old neighbor's face after the father of 3 screamed at him to drive more carefully. Word has it that Bieber had a new Ferrari delivered to his Calabasas home at 8am and decided to take it for a test drive inside his gated community. Many neighbors complained that he was driving around 100 mph inside their little community.
When one neighbor confronted him and said, "You can't drive like this!" Bieber responded by saying, "Get the f**k out of here," and then he spit in the guy's face and said, "I'm gonna f**king kill you."
Source
When He Met the Prime Minister of Canada, He Wore This
Visits the Great Wall, Has Bodyguards Carry Him
On Sept. 30, the Biebs was photographed getting carried on the shoulders of two bodyguards up the Great Wall of China. When they made it to the top, the apparently able-bodied pop star hopped off and snapped some photos for his Instagram feed. Fans can be seen excitedly snapping pics from behind the spectacle.
Eggs Neighbor's House When He Is 20 Years Old.
On Jan 10, 2014, Justin Bieber was at war with a neighbor who lives in the same gated community. The incident escalated and Bieber, as a 20-year-old, fully-grown man, egged his neighbor's house. Justin's neighbor caught part of the incident in a video posted on TMZ. In the video, you can hear Justin yelling from outside the house. WARNING: The video has lots and lots of naughty language.
