List of insider facts on your favorite childhood movies, shocking behind-the-scenes stories. There’s a lot of things that can ruin a movie that younger-you loved. Sometimes it’s learning something weird about a cast member. Sometimes it’s bad science. Or sometimes it’s finding out that maybe a ton of cats might have died filming Milo and Otis.
Whatever the reason, nothing kicks nostalgia in its warm fuzzy nuts like FACTS. Facts stick to your favorite childhood stuff dook scented scratch n sniff stickers.
http://www.ranker.com/list/facts-that-will-ruin-your-favorite-childhood-films/joe-starr,
The Wizard of Oz Director Was a Nazi Sympathizer
“It wasn’t lies, Dorothy. It was directing.”
The Wizard of Oz: It’s a wholesome family classic. It’s a timeless tale of courage and friendship. And it was directed by a Nazi. Famed director Victor Fleming, described as “violently pro-Nazi,” was not thrilled when the United States joined the Allies, and was tapping his ruby slippers that the United Kingdom would fall to ol’ Adolf.
Writing this one times nicely with this week’s total nonissue of The Voice’s Adam Levine jokingly saying that he hated America and setting off a redneck firestorm calling for his head on Twitter. Assuming Americans have been opinion trigger-happy since we kicked out the British, how was this guy still winning Oscars while goose stepping for Nazis? They were, if memory serves, the worst people ever.
This one really makes a guy wish that jetpacks had been invented, so something mildly Rocketeer-ish could have happened on the set of the Emerald City.
So next time you turn The Wizard of Oz on to share that wholesome movie experience with your kids, remember: when Victor Fleming’s world went from black and white to color, there were no Jews in it.
Super Shredder Couldn't Take A Few Steps Without Needing Surgery
Huge improvement, chico.
How in the hell do you even top a Ninja Turtle fight sequence so awesome that it inspired Vanilla Ice and his crew to spontaneously group write a song and dance number?! By mutating Shredder into…THE SUPER SHREDDER! Super Shredder! He’s awesome! He’s huge! He hates docks! He’s…
Well, he’s Kevin Nash, a super boring and injury prone pro wrestler. The star of THIS!
And that’s one of 135 injuries between gigs like WCW’s Oz and WWF’s super cool Diesel, a Pixar version of a Sons of Anarchy extra. I mean, Super Shreds is sort of a chump anyway, since he gets taken out by some falling wood, but at least he was able to walk 6 steps before an injury took him out.
If they really wanted a pro wrestler to play Super Shredder, they should have cast Nash’s best friend Scott Hall, AKA the WWF’s Razor Ramon.
Timon/Pumba Watched Nala/Simba Have Sex...While Singing About It
And a generation of furries was born.
The Lion King’s Simba and Nala were Disney’s version Zach and Kelly from Saved By The Bell, even down to a hit love ballad and a romantic romance rekindling in the woods montage to rival any Robin Hood film. Who could forget that beautiful moment when they finally looked into each other’s eyes, rubbed heads, and had a crap load of spring break style off screen lion sex? Simba’s buddies Timon and Pumba certainly remember, because they watched the entire thing. And sang about it while it was happening.
On one hand, they don’t have a lot going besides eating bugs and farting. But on the other, put yourself in Simba’s paws. It’s your first time and she’s your dream girl. Yet your pervy uncle is watching behind the closet door. It gets worse. You can hear him singing about what you’re doing. Can you feel the love tonight? Hell, can you even get the love up tonight?
Velociraptors Sounds From Jurassic Park Are Really Turtles Having Sex
Is there anything cooler or more terrifying than the velociraptors in Jurassic Park? The answer is no. No, there is not. They hunt in packs, they are problem solving predators, and if they could, one would have earned its pilot license.
And of course, there are the super scary and intense noises they make, which have haunted your dreams since you first saw those things stalk Timmy and Lex into that kitchen. Those completely inhuman snarls and barks that made your lame little sister hide her eyes which are actually the sounds of turtles having sex.
Sound designer Gary Rydstrom was recording sounds for the film at Marine World when an employee asked if he wanted to record the turtles having sex. It sounded like a good idea and that he’d get plenty of audio, since with turtles, slow and steady wins the race.
And besides, what else were the employees at Marine World going to be doing that day? Not sit around watching turtles eff?
Nemo May Have Found Life More Challenging If Nature Had It's Way
Would this make Dory Creon?
Finding Nemo is probably one of the best Pixar movies. Albert Brooks acts his heart out as Marlin, the clown fish father of young lost Nemo, whom he undertakes a desperate adventure to find. His comedic foil Dory is so funny and endearing that she’s getting her own spin off movie. Throw in a fantastic set of supporting characters from Crush, the surfer turtle, to sharks that have sworn off fish, and you have a fantastic movie.
Except that Nemo’s facts about clownfish are WAY off. If you’re going to anthropomorphize an animal, at least get a few things straight. Clownfish are sequential hermaphrodites, meaning they are males first, and develop into females as they mature. So Marlin should have been Marla, and would have never been friends with Dory because chicks, amiright? And with only two clownfish present, Nemo would have been first in line to mate with his mom. This becomes a much different movie, and probably a play at a lot of fringe theatre festivals.
What are the odds that there is already some erotic fanfiction out there covering this problem?
…Probably pretty good.
Mel Blanc Voiced All of Geppetto's Pets...But It Got Cut
Disney’s Pinocchio was a pretty solid movie. The characters were memorable, it won an Oscar for its great song, and as far as we know, none of its directors were Indiana Jones villains.
But did you know that Pinocchio could have been EVEN BETTER? The voice of Bugs Bunny and the Man of a thousand voices, Mel Blanc, recorded speaking roles for Geppetto’s pets. The dialogue was all cut when the directors decided that the pets should be muted. I take that back. They were fascists.
Who cuts Bugs Bunny out of a movie? Remember all that weird crap with kids that turn into donkeys and a whale and that giant evil guy that had a mustache? You know what that stuff needed? A talking cat cracking wise, that’s what! Bugs Bunny could have done for marionette crafting what he did for the NBA in the '90s! You need to cut time, Disney? Cut the cricket. Leave the Blanc.
Will Smith Shouldn't Have Been Able To Save Earth In Independence Day
Independence Day is awesome. So is the movie. Bill Pullman, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum fighting aliens with Mac computers is what made me truly love America.
It’s a shame the movie should have only been five minutes long.
When the alien mothership docked between our planet and the moon, the sheer size of the thing should have caused some gravitational problems with the tides.
Like, enough gravitational problems to turn Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day into Roland Emmerich’s 2012.
Independence Day should have ended way before Will Smith called anything a close encounter, and way before we found out about Goldblum’s hard to follow love affair with the president’s not wife that works for the president but doesn’t date him anymore.
But it shouldn't end before Vivica A. Fox’s stripper scene. In fact, title credits, Fox pole dancing, tidal wave. It’s the perfect Emmerich film.